My Freaky Little Monkey Named Earnest
Posted: Fri Feb 07, 2003 3:38 pm
I have a little monkey I like to call Earnest, although his real name is James. He and I dance in a large 10'x10' cardboard box that I have constructed out of other boxes. The bottom of the box is lined with trash bags because sometimes Earnest likes to poop while he's dancing. Sometimes he'll drop one and I get inspired to drop my own, but since Im usually wearing pants that tends to get a bit messy, so I refrain from taking a dump while Earnest and I are dancing most of the time.
Earnest hates being called James. Im not sure why. When you call him James he flips out and starts getting all wacky. He gets all excited and throws up. I hate cleaning up monkey puke, so I only call him James when I have company over and I want them to leave, but don't want to be rude. I'll be all like, "My my my, you're a shiny little man, JAMES." or something like that, he'll be all like, "SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AHHHH AHHHHH AHHHHH OOOOOOOH OOH UH UH... Bleeeeeeooook." *ack* *cough* Then I'll be like ok, "Looks like JAMES is getting tired." and he'll throw up again. Then my friends will leave cause they don't want to help clean up monkey vomit.
So yeah, I call him Earnest mostly.
Earnest hates being called James. Im not sure why. When you call him James he flips out and starts getting all wacky. He gets all excited and throws up. I hate cleaning up monkey puke, so I only call him James when I have company over and I want them to leave, but don't want to be rude. I'll be all like, "My my my, you're a shiny little man, JAMES." or something like that, he'll be all like, "SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AHHHH AHHHHH AHHHHH OOOOOOOH OOH UH UH... Bleeeeeeooook." *ack* *cough* Then I'll be like ok, "Looks like JAMES is getting tired." and he'll throw up again. Then my friends will leave cause they don't want to help clean up monkey vomit.
So yeah, I call him Earnest mostly.
